IS IT MY FAULT??? U jus dunt understand... how it is to miss sum1... maybe u dunt hav any feelin... im so down agen... im so sad... i try my best to try mitin u... but u giv me reasons wich i cnt xcept it... damn it... wat do u take me ferr... evry single day i tink bout u... n i count how many days i've nt met u... is it dard to asked ferr... mit me fer awhile pon jadik sehh... even if its jus a 5min mit... u want me to update u to whre i go n stuff... but did u do the same... i jus wanted to cry wen u msg me dat... n nw i dunt noe wen i cn mit u... wen??? is a gewd ques... cos even me dunt noe... cos he's gonna go back camp tomorow n will only b out on fri or sat i tink... nvr mind lerr... dunt u guys tink im clinging to sumting wich is nt worth it...? i wanna cry... but i jus cnt... i've been kiping dis tears fer a long tyme seh... i reali hope to mit him... i cn go crazy sehh tinking bout dis... haiz... he jus dunt understand... nt miting ferr 12days is nt easy ferr me to bear wit... eventho we kol each otha... but im olwaes the 1 doin ol dat... i dunt wanna compare doin tings more den u... or opposite ways... cos its gonna b nowhre... at the end of the day im the 1 hurt... argh!!!
i blogged @
10:40
NT YET SLIPIN I feel tired but cnt slip yet... dunnoe y... so here i am bloggin... woke up at 1230hrs... as 1300hrs i've to bath... i start werk at 1500hrs mah... woke up... den sempat played comp... hehehe... chck email,frensta n bloggy... i was a bit betta den the day b4... but dat sumting still burnin in me... nvr mind... bought myself seafood kway teow... den went to werk tog wit aton... we meet inside bus svc 24... reached werk i've gt ECI(early chck-in) den break... eat my mee... but didnt finish it up... no mood... dunnoe y... hehehe... den do ctr ol the way... sit crew bge... sit bside Azrin... my colleague he will b turnin 18 dis yr... hehehe... still young tho... den we laugh n disturb each otha... luk at the watch n its 2220hrs... den aton asked if i wanna ot nt... as im finishing werk at 2230hrs... den i sae okie... gt company cab sumore... hehehe... ot till 2300hrs... afta dat iso gg to the OPS 1... we went to McDonald instead... buy food... so hungry... as we dunt eat much in the aftann... i took the same cab wit aton,yaya n faseeha... den ate mc McSpicy... yummy... was full den... playin comp afta dat... n nw here i am blogging... my head hurts seh... it feels hurt especially wen i press the skull... lyke swollen gitu... argh!!! cnnt tahan lerr... i was so pissed of wit 1 of my officer at werk... i dunt noe wats wrg wit her... evryting i do seems wrg to her... she says she asked me to do sumting n i didnt do it... whrelse i dunt remember she askin me to do it... n den she says she puts a comment in the system n i dunt refer to her... wich i dunt c any wen i chck dat person in... damn it... she reali pissed me off... but at the end of the day she talked to me as per normal... so i did the same... jus talked to her as per normal jek lerr... too many politics in my werk... aiyoh... dis is werkin lyfe... i jus hav to endure it... too bad... Otw to werk i col him... sayin dat im using mum no. ferr todae... den he say okie... talk to him fer awhile... kinda miss him tho... the last tyme i saw him was wen i went sheesha wit my fren... n dat was 19jan... n nw is 30jan... its been 11days... dats how long... omg... i reali miss him... i dunt noe how i cn tahan till lyke dat... i asked if he cn mit me up tomorow... jus ferr awhile pon jadik sehh... hehehe... at 1st he sounds lyke he dunt want... but i say... to him... asked him to accompany me go take the new sim card... as my hp is lost ryte... so had to get a new sim card lerr... den he says... he tinks it shuldnt b a prob to mit me... hehehe... i reali hope i will mit him... n maybe we cn talk tings out... but sumtymes the feelin of insecure is there... i feel lyke im clinging to sumting wich is nt worth it... i dunt noe... he sumtymes is gewd to me... n sumtymes give me dis cold shoulder... haiz... wich is betta? b wit sum1 who luvs u... or the opposite way...? or both?
i blogged @
03:36
Sunday, January 28, 2007
NT THE END... I tot it was but infact sumting else had to happen... damn it... wats wrg wit me... LADY-LUCK... whre r u... lyfe hav been bad recently... n afta another prob... wich im nt done wit... sumting else had to happen... i feel lyke endin my lyfe... i CNNT tahan... tinking bout dis make me headache n hart pain... haiz... my body feel so weak... im scared... i dunnoe if im strong enuf to handle my own lyfe... it seems i cnt... evry single day... i kip pushin myself to live... no 1 understand wat im gg tru... n dis is how i relieve myself... by bloggin... but still the shitty feelin is still here... breathin within me... haiz... wats happenin to me... i jus want to cry out loud... but i cnt get dis fcukin tears out frm my eyes... OWH GOSH!!! im jus too tired n shack... i noe tings happen fer a reason... my mind is in a whirl... i feel agitated too... pls GOD help me... im nt strong enuf to handle dis on my own...
i blogged @
19:41
ITS JUS NOT RITE... Lyfe had been bad agen... i lost my $$$ n hp... $$$ its okie if i were to lose it... but im more concern bout my hp... damn it... i nid the hp ferr werk... argh!!! tings had been bad ferr me recently... frm guys,werk,fren n family... easier to say its evryting... damn it... wats wrg wit me... i feel lyke shouting out loud... jus to let my feelings out... me n him... we r okie... but nw... my hp lost... how do i ctc him...? damn it... n i dunt memories his no. sumore... wtf... im so fcuking stress... *sob* i tink dats it fer nw... cos im still feelin down... to the peeps... tanx...
i blogged @
15:15
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
I DUNT UNDERSTAND MYSELF... Evrytink i do seems ol wrg... frm luv lyfe,family,werk n frens... nothing seems ryte... my lyfe r jus so simple yet complicated... i jus hav to endure the pain dat im gg tru... i dunt understand wat i want in dis lyfe... nothing seems to b ryte... dis is still jan2007... n i've gt ol the shit happening to me... how am i suppose to avoid it... wen i dunt noe wats gonna happen in future... im nt a fortune teller... if i was 1... lyfe wuldnt b dis bad ferr me... duhh!!! wat i really want in lyfe??? i myself dunnoe... i jus want to b hapie... is dat hard to ask ferr... damn it... GODD!!! pls help me... pls show me the ryte way... n pls make my soul in peace... argh!!! im still in the early stage... wit u... so i dunt lose anyting... so r u... so we r over... in fact... i dunt tink we r tog in the 1st plc... cos it doesnt seems lyke dat... jus go away frm me... go far2 away... i jus wanna njoy my lyfe to the fullest... n i noe i cn... i've been tru alot of dis kinda shit... so i dunt c y i cnt do dat... hmm...
i blogged @
11:51
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
GUYS!!! Why u guys jus cnt understand us women... Are we really difficult to b please...? We jus nid u to show us dat we cn feel secure wen we r by ur side... why at tymes u r romantics n at sum point of tyme u r harsh towards us? i jus dunt understand... is it hard to ask fer? to b loved by u... to show how care n concerns r u... bein a gentleman is nt gewd enuf to proves ur love towards us... im so confused nw... i dunt understand wat u want... did i do u wrg...? or perhaps i make u angry? the loves i have fer u nw... r lyke waves going up n down... sumtymes u treat me so well... dat i wanna spent my whole lyfe wit u... n wen ur in no mood... u treat me jus lyke a paper bein crushed n throw it away in a bin... i dunt want dat... i want us to b hapie... bein honest towards each other... is a gewd start... but r u bein honest to me...? i hope so... haiz... i dunt wanna tink too much bout love... cos it sux... the shitty feelin is jus hurt... i wanna njoy lyfe... gg out wit my frens... been surrounded by my families... dats wat i want...
i blogged @
12:33
Sanggupkah Kau Bersabar Sayang Sanggupkah kau bersabar sayang Untuk bersama diriku Dalam menempuh dugaan Yang serba mencabar Sanggupkah bersabar sayang Susah senang bersamaku Semoga kau tak menyesal Berkawan denganku ( korus ) Sedarkah engkau Hidup aku serba kekurangan Oh cuma yang ada Kasih yang ikhlas untuk dirimu Usahlah kau memaksa Apa yang aku tak mampu lakukan Jikalau engkau benar menyayangiku Hendaklah engkau bersabar Kau harus memahami Jiwaku dan hidupku Barulah kau akan mengerti Tiada gunanya kita bertengkar Hanyalah merenggangkan hubungan kita Kita hanya mampu merancang masa depan Tetapi Tuhan yang menetukan segalanya Kiranya kau sudah tak mampu bersabar Apalah dayaku Tak mampu diriku menahanmu Sanggupkah bersabar sayang Menunggu diriku ini Berikanlah aku ruang Berteduh dihatimu Untuk selamanya
i blogged @
01:19
Monday, January 22, 2007
THE UPDATES!!! FER TODAY!!! Arshad came at nearly 1900hrs... so late... he pick me up at my void deck... its been quite sumtyme since we met... hmm... den we proceed to blk 700+ ard bdk res still... bought a bottle of coke... den we went to another void deck... wait fer shafiq... another x skool mate of mine... mcm reunion gitu... padahal... kat sec skool tk bual byk2 pon... cume talk biler perlu jek... furthermore we r nt in the same class... hehehe... den we talked... shafiq disturb me... n arshad jus kip quiet jek n smile... aiyo... he cn b a talkative too... hahaha... but its ayte... rather den kip quiet jek... boring... so we talked n talked... den shafiq hav to go hm fer awhile... as his fren is actuali at his plc... terharu seh... eventho his fren at his plc... but he still come down to mit us... tanx shafiq... left me n arshad... we talked n laugh... we saw dis rat... eeeuuuwww... so geli... we were oso waitin fer faiq... another x skoolmate of mine... he wit his fren... reached the void deck at nearly 2045hrs... den his fren sesat... so he hav to get his fren... i wanted to hav a ryde on his bike... den he tompang me... hehehe... den we go fetched 2 o his fren at ard bdk nrth st3... afta dat wen we were otw back to bdk res void deck... he speed... wow... i feel lyke my hart is at my throat seh... shit... i kip beating his back... hehehe... den he stop... aiyo... finally... but tanx fer the ryde... hehehe... reached void deck n im the only gerl there... feel weird as its my 1st tyme seating weit guys ard... den luk at my watch its 2120hrs... the guys r busy wit doin 1 of faiq fren bike... doin the "ferring"(i hope it spells correctly)... so tell arshad i wanna go hm... he sent me back... tanx arshad fer the ryde too... n tanx faiq n shafiq fer the tyme n laughing moment...hehehe... its jus a few hrs... but it was fun... tanx agen... reached hm... washed out... i did told hafidz dat i wanna go out n lepakz wit my fren... but didnt reply or answer my fone... hmm... so wen i reached hm i kol him... he conference his kol wit his fren, arip or wat the name is... ended the conference... talked to him... he says he's doin sumting wit olie... n will kol me back... but till nw... no kol frm him... nvr mind... its okie... im chill... he will b out frm camp on wed... hmm...
tomorow im werkin... so fast seh finishin my leave... den wed im off... im shacked nw... argh...
i blogged @
22:37
WHILE WAITING... Im waitin fer my x skoolmate of mine to pick me up... so in the meantyme... update my blog lerr... hehehe... blog fer 21jan... i cooked mee kicap... its tasteless... hehehe... but a gewd 1st try tho... atleast i tried... ryte... i must cook often... to improve on my skill... luckily gt cili padi... atleast taste spicy... as fer my family dey eat it wit chili sos... it must b realy tasteless... hahaha... sit at hm the whole day... so lazy to go out... played comp the whole day... boring... but nvr mind... yest there is a match btw man-u n arsenal... wonder who wins... hopefully my favv team MAN-U win... hehehe... talked to zul on the fone... till bout 0120hrs... den i slip... quite early fer me to slip... dats ol... blog fer 22jan... today... i woke up at 1030hrs... cnt get back to slip... n at abt 1100hrs... mak jah came to my plc... so woke up... salam her... n den stay inside my rm to play comp... at abt 1300hrs... i bathed... den siap2 go out... wit family n mak jah... went to tamp near al-salihin to buy toiletries n den went al-salihin to eat... den took cab go hm... n now family went to ikea... sight-seeing... they hav nt went there b4... inc me... hehehe... nex tyme perhaps... nw im still waiting... aiyo... my fren arshad nk mandi dulu lerr... aper lerr he... hehehe... n im olready siap... nvr mind... nw i wanna play the word deluxe game on comp while waiting... hehehe... takin care... told him im gg out... he didnt reply... kol him he didnt picked up the fone... dunt tell me lata dat i didnt tell u n etc... wateva!!!
i blogged @
18:16
Sunday, January 21, 2007
ARGH!!! I dunt wanna blog bout today yet... as it sux... the day is jus sux... many tings happen... y???
i blogged @
16:55
BLOG FER 20JAN Woke up early m'ning... plan to go out wit family as dad is nt werking... he took leave... he says he tired... wat only... We plan to go buy baby nadra baby stroller... was rainin wen we were at bdk int... afta bought stroller we went to hav our supper at my ol tyme favv restaurant... SEGAR... hehehe... i reali lyke the food... i ordered seafood fried kway teow, ilah n dad ordered mee hong kong... in white n yellow mee each... mum ordered herself a mee hokkien shared wit nadya... our side dish are mango salad n tom yam seafood... hehehe... was fulled... we gt the discount frm dem... cos we r kinda frequent customer there... n the staff there r nice n frenly... afta dat we plan to go VIVO CITY... took train there... many peeps there... ard 1800hrs we make our way back as we wanted to go tamp to buy baby cot fer baby nadra... at the train to the east-west line train we saw bestie min... she's goin to sgh... to visit her mr Hardi granfather... cos of asthma... will pray fer him to get well soon... eventho i nvr mit... den we reached tamp... but tkder... its at tamp ave 10... the courts is near ikea... aiyo... took a cab... tot of gg courts at tamp ave 10... but the driver dunt noe where is tamp ave 10... n dunt noe whre is ikea... den to make the pakcik lyfe easier... we asked him to send us hm to our plc... bdk res... n gez wat he dunt even noe whre... OMG... dis pakcik is testing our patience... we show him the direction... he did mumbling to himself... aiyo... inside my hart i jus pray... hehehe... reached hm at olmost 2030hrs... den me n ilah went down to buy dinner...
