Thursday, March 29, 2007
8YRS???I lettin it go??? nope... i dunt want dat to happen... i miss her... sooo... much dat i dreamt of her... lyke u say the frenship is there but it wont b lyke last tyme... i respect ur dcision ayte... fer nw... i wish u ol the best wit ur luv lyfe,families n frens... dunt cry fer ani1 nt even me animore... cos ur tears is nt worth fer us... u deserve to b hapie... even tho u seems vanished to thin air but ur name will still b inside my hart... the post of BESTIE wont b replace by any1 xcept u... cos ur IRREPLACEABLE... i hart u lots ayte... take care...MISSIN LATE MAK JANGI was doin my gate controller fer qf9 dep... suddenly came dis old lady... cnt remember her name as i was shocked at the same tyme... she is a british but her face resembles mak jang especially her lips... she luks the same as how i luk at mak jang fer the last tyme... i closed my eyes n i saw mak jang... i open my eyes n its gone... closed my eyes agen n her face was jus so near to me... n i jus open my eyes... n pray hard... suddenly i tink i miss her... lets together pray fer her... AL-FATEHAH...PARTY!!!THE PLAN-Gg out at 1930hrs to mit gf lin inside train... she's frm p.ris n me eunos... den mit farhana(cousin) at clarke quay... n den walk to MOS... mit yan there to get the tix... mit taufiq n epul to giv dem the tix... den mit aton n acit there... get a chop... maybe or maybe nt gg to DBL-O... as DBL-O finish abt 0230hrs... we will b gg back to MOS as it closes at abt 0500... den chill till 1st bus... n im werkin at 1500hrs on 29mar... confem shacked... hahaha... its ayte... been long since i went MOS... Sheila jus called me at hm sayin she's gettin a new hp n sims card... n mum too gettin 1... so she's askin if i want 1 too nt... n i actuali say yes... argh!!! but the hp is BENQ-SIEMEN... nt shure if dats gewd nt... hmm... but sheila says dat hp gt mp3,radio n camera hp... nvr mind atleast cn sms cn lerr...
i blogged @
17:52
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
26TH MARMet aton at McDonald at tamp near cpf buildin... hang ard wit her... talk abt alot of tings... her probs n mine too... as she's nt ready to go hm yet... stay wit her till late nyte... at the same tyme she accompany me while mr.E otw to mit me... but i pity her so i asked her to go 1st... will let her noe wen im wit him lata... so she went hm n left me alone... mr.E came late den promised... we went to p.ris to chill... by 0230hrs i reached hm... wit my body itchin... argh!!! had fun... tanx... GUYS!!!i wanna stop contactin mr.A... i had enuf... i saw a gerl pic in his hp screensaver accidently... wich i dunt tink i cn b patience any longer... im sad but i hav no choice... he luvs dat gerl... n i suspect dats F... cos i noe how I luks lyke... i wish u gd luck mr.A... even tho i cnt b the person... but i will pray fer ur happiness... take care...n i drew a line btw mr.H as i dunt tink i cn xccept sum1 who hav pics on the body to b my bf... im sorie... im nt tryin to b rude... diff ppl hav diff expectation... i noe u luvs me lots... but im sorie... i jus cnt xccept it... its betta we became frens... take care...WERK!!!werk wise... still trying to adapt the new summer schedule flts chg... tyming n the model of the a/c chg... wow!!! many tings to b put inside n memerised into my head... n i cnt wait fer my off day... wich is on thurs... argh!!! PARTY!!!gg mos perhaps... they gt events... SHODOWN is the event name... i hope acit n amir cn make it(cross finger)... its been fun partying wit dem... n of cos wit lin lerr... hehehe... i had fun partying wit lin,aton,acit,amir,khalid n tahir dat day... reali had fun... hehehe... i wanna do it agen i hope dis thurs...ME&Ui dunt mean tings to happen dis way... nvr ever did i tot bout dis... the 8yrs we've been thru... wat u tryin to say in the tag box??? nk putus kn persahabatan kiter yg slamer 8thn??? y u jus cnt xcept the fact dat i've chg... y cnt u do ur stuff n i do mine... but we r still bestest fren ever... cnt we do dat...? y must we lead our frenship to dis... dis is totally wrg... yes i noe ur dissapointed in me... even my mum r... but still she cn xcept the fact dat i smoke n i still wanna club... she allows me... y cnt u... even tho we hav no blood connection but i've rgrd u as my own blood... n u urself noe dat... even i dunt noe wat to talk to u abt wen i kol u... but still i called u ryte... nie antara nk atau tk nk jek... u talkin bout "harsh"... yes u did use harsh werds... n those werds hurts me... to u perhaps its nt harsh werds... but to me it is... a "wake up call"??? evry1 hav their own mistakes n sins... so let us jus take care of our own graves... i jus dunt wished tings to happen dis way...
i blogged @
02:34
Sunday, March 25, 2007
IT WAS A GEWD DAY BUT TURN OUT TO B A BAD DAY!!!Met ijah,diqi n as at bustop near to 140... they follow me to TM to make sum payment... afta dat took 65 to town... otw there mit zul(x bnss) inside bus... we r gg town tog... reached town at abt 2100hrs... walked to the 7-11 near hilton hotel... mr.H called to ask whre am i... i tink he wanna join us... but seriously im in no mood to mit him or talked to him fer sum certain reason... so we actuali pass thru each otha... he called up my name n i say hi n walked towards the front... frm there we walked to cineleisure... over there i saw fareez... he is 1 of her colleague... den i bought 3 b's... fer each 1 of us... den frm there we went to taka to chill ard... waited fer lin to cum frm werk... afta dat ajib,ipul,syafiq,elias n hafiz came... had another b's den called naz to asked if he wanna join us nt... n he agree to join us... so naz n epul came... total it was abt 13 of us there... was my 1st tyme havin many peeps to town... hahaha... den we proceed to BK... bought another b's... lin bo... hehehe... tanx lin... had sum confrontation btw me,ijah n lin... i was in no mood... jus feel so bad... so had to get out frm there... n took a cab... n i went sumwhre... sumwhre i tot i wuld chill my mind... but it didnt help much actuali...i saw her pic at ur hp screensaver accidently... i was shocked...
DUNT JUMP INTO CONCLUSION!!!
Atleast i did luk out fer u even tho i read ur bloggy n i called u... but did u try to find or luk fer me... i miss u too dats y i called u... nt jus bcos i read ur blog n i called u... perhaps tings wont get back to wat u wished fer... n its true dat we dunt hav much tings to talked abt wen i called u unlike last tyme... u used to called me evry single day afta ur lunch tyme... we wuld talked more than an hr atleast... talked bout lil tings to bigger topic... u nvr noe how i wen thru shitty w/o u... but i promise myself nt to make a burden to u or my other frens... i've had enuf of dis shit!!! jus let go of me... jus lyke the ashes been blown away by the wind... btw me n u... we r both EGO i cnt deny dat... evryday i tot of u... to y tings became dis way... i noe u care n luv me... n i luv n miss u lyke crazy... n on my part my egoist is damn strong too... wen i read ur bloggy n it sound harsh... the more i wanna b rebellious... sorie... n i dunt deny dat i too hav a ego... jus let me go ayte... hart u lots...
gf lin n gf ijah... im sorie bout wat happen yest... i jus wanna b alone at dat tyme... tanx...
i blogged @
19:43
Friday, March 23, 2007
YEST OUTING!!!Finish werk at 1100hrs but gt last hr... otw hm... sheila kol me... sayin dat sum1 wanna beat mira,my kuzzin... n i was angry suddenly... so she asked me to go n c mira at 1330hrs infront her skool gate... jus havin a 1/2hr of slip is nt reali enuf thou... but evryting was okie nw... i hope... den in the middle of the conversation wit the bdk2 skola... i took cab to lin plc... I n lin went to TM to watch STOMP THE YARD... n it was superly great... i giv 10 out of 10... den i follow lin do her shoppin... n den we proceed to bugis... mit up acit,amir,tahir n khalid... had fun n angry moments too... tanx...TODAY!!!mitin up wit mr.A lata... mittin up was his idea... we plan dis bout 2wks ago if im nt wrg... so here it is... i hope tings wen out well... cos i realli missed him... mr.H noes im mitin mr.A... n he's kinda nt happie... n nw givin me an attitude wich i dunt even care... do wateva u want...mr.H... knew him since the day i live at bdk nrth... but we didnt even talked to each other... we will jus walk past each otha w/o smilin or sayin hi... i gt to noe dat he's 1 of my fren's fren... so frm there we talked... n den i add him at whosgoing.com n he added me on his msn fren... we met,talked n he says he likes n luvs me... eventho i told him the truth abt evryting... even bout mr.A... he doesnt realli lyke it but im sorie mr.H... but dats the fact... he told me dat there is no werd "fren" in our r'ship... im confused at the same tyme... 1 afta another... tings hav to cropt up...
i blogged @
16:41
Saturday, March 17, 2007
ARGH!!! WAT'S HAPPENIN???Im totally pissed off... wit mr.A... i told u he booked out on fri ryte... so ard 2130hrs... i msg him using mum's hp to ask wat he was doin... he did reply... its short n simple... "ngah ngan I"... n my hart suddenly feel lyke crushing n broke into pieces... i was lyke "he has the cheeck to tell me dat???" its gewd dat he told me the truth... but dat truth hurts me... the nex ting i knew... my tears rollin to my cheecks... am i jeolous??? wich gerl is nt jeolous wen she found out dat the person she lykes went out wit another gerl... n dat another gerl is nt u... i jus feel lyke lettin him go... n do wats he tinks best fer him... i didnt ctc him eversince he msg me dat n till nw he didnt even bother to jus msg me or kol me... n yeah... he is out wit F today... gg to "i dunt noe whre either"... damn it... i dunt wanna b selfish... owh gawd... wats so special abt u dat i lyke u sooo much... n i wasnt even in my mood to werk too jus nw...There is dis "BITCH" at werk i tot she's my fren... but it turns out dat she badmouthed me... n its a pretty bad 1... omg... n tanx to dis anonymous person whom i dunt noe who told my gewdfren to tell me n watched out on dat "BITCH"... argh!!! im so pissed off... will confront dat "BITCH" fer shure... n to dat anonymous person... tanx... even thou my gewdfren promise u nt to reveal anyting abt who u r... but its ayte... sooner or later i will noe... but nt frm my gewdfren... Yest didnt mit up mr.D... as he's tired afta the football trainin... so i said its okie... probably we gg to the chalet today... afta his trainin... but nt shure yet... i dunt noe... but i jus dunt wanna stay hm as dad ard... he fought wit my sis... n he pull me into the story too... wich i hate... i jus wanna go out den frm outside will go werk... owh gawd... i feel so restless... hearing malay emo songs doesnt even help me cry... i noe i will atleast feel betta afta cryin... so mr.D i hope u cn make it ayte...y is dis shit still happening in my lyfe???
fcuk!!! wats wrg wit me??? im jus so feelin down!!!
i blogged @
17:38
Thursday, March 15, 2007
HAPPIE 20TH BUFDAE!!!Happie bufdae to my dear suriani... may ol ur wish cum thru... present??? later gt pay i giv u k sweety... hehehe... gettin older arent we??? hehehe... luvs u lots... many tings hav happen in our f'ship... but nothing will end it... n u noe dat ryte... takin care...
Lyfe been great... me n mum r okie... tings gg back to normal... tanx god... im jus so relieve... tanx evry1 fer ur care,concern n support ayte... w/o u guys im nt shure how am i gonna make it thru...
Me n guys??? im still hangin on mr.A... i like him so much... even thou i noe he still gt F n I... But i dunt mind... i dunt noe y... argh!!! shuld i hang on him??? he makes me laugh,smile,angry n even cry silently... he book out dis fri... he miting F on sat n gg out wit her afta he mitin his aunt... hart pain seh... den im miting him on sun afta i finish werk at 1000hrs... n he book in at 2100hrs... i feel so stupid too sumtymes... even gf lin is mad at me cos i still hangin on mr.A... i still ctc wit mr.D,mr.Z n mr.R... n mr.D declare dat he likes me... argh!!!
Im off... at last... thurs n fri... thurs plan- tidy up my rm... ard 1930hrs gg out frm hm to mit gf lin at p.ris... as she finish werk at 2000hrs... gg DBL-O... hehehe... mum noes... fri plan- sit at hm... den ard 1930hrs mit mr.D maybe... he gt chalet n want me to go wit him... n i start werk at 0000hrs... he says he will send me to werk... so probably im gg to mit him... told mr.A dat im gg to club... n as usual he will say "byk duit"... i jus kip quiet lor... wat cn i say...
Am i ready 4 r'ship??? i likes him alot... b... y cnt u jus see it??? the luvs fer u is genuine...
i blogged @
01:15
Saturday, March 10, 2007
1ST POST!!!Went doc to chck on my coughing agen... n he says i've gt tonsilitis... he says if dis occur to me 4 tymes a yr i will nid to go fer operation... its kinda scary thou... eeuuuwwww... gt 2 days mc... gettin ready den met min n her colleague at TM to hav our lunch... b4 me,kakak n min gg fer our BTT... n btw went 4 my BTT n i actuali failed... hahaha... i did nt revised a single ting... hehehe... i rebooked mt BTT test agen wich falls on 16may... nid to wait so long seh... n i tot of gettin myself a motor licence as well... cool ryte???2ND POST!!!When i saw u... i was so relieved... dunt noe how to react too... when we shake hands n hug each other i tot tings wuld b betta... n i tink i missed u... but at sum point... i feel lyke a stranger... as if i jus knew u... i dunt noe y... but our frenship is gettin out of hand... i dunt blame my fren fer my situation im gg thru nw... its my own fault... im nt shure wat happen next in my lyfe... but im gonna bear dis consequences by myself...3RD POST!!!Went out at abt 1900hrs to mit apai at orchard... he jus came out frm his rehearsal parade... changing of command or watsoever lerr... hehehe... den met isha at wisma starbuck... n gez wat... syuk was there too... introduce dem to apai... i feel so awkward... next we plan to play pool @ lucky plaza... i dunt noe y... but was no mood to play... n my concentration was nt there... n apai disturb me by sayin "no mood or bcos he's here wit us" n i was lyke "wtf"... nt even fer an hr i wanted to stop playin... so me n apai sat infront of lucky plaza smokin... wanted sum fresh air... while isha n syuk went to the toilet n to the ATM... i dunt wish to stay ard syuk any longer... so i plan to go elsewhre wit apai... we bid gdbye to dem... was so pissed off wit apai... he kept holdin his hp n smsin wit dunt noe who... its either F or I... he let me listen to his hp mp3... n the song was MY HEART... n my tears started to fall n he saw it n change the song n say "wrg song" n he went bck to his hp... i was lyke argh!!!! wtf n wth... wateva... but he will hold me wen i wanted to fall in the train n it was lyke wow... hehehe... i dunt noe y... but i hart him alot seh... wich i olready noe whre i stand in his lyfe... but i dunt seem care bout dat... me too hav lots of guys fren... but he's sum1 special... i luv lukin at him laughin,smilin,slipin n angry luk... but too bad he gt 2 other gerls in his lyfe bside his mum of cos... owh gawd!!! cnt u jus let him see how genuine my luv fer him... back to the story we went to mit his fren... n abt 0400hrs i reached hm... 4TH POST!!!Mum noes evrytink... frm clubbin,drinkin n smokin... tings been bad... been quarelling... n the next ting we r okie n den quarell agen... but i feel relieve too dat mum noes wat happen... n wat i gonna do is dat i will try nt to drink too much... club i will still go... but lessen it... smoke i dunt tink i cn stop... smoke is jus hard... n its up to evry1 to xcept it or nt... cos i cnt force any1 to blieve me nw... n gainin any1 trust is difficult... but seriously... i cn only try... but cnt promise anytink... cos the 1 gg thru ol dis is me... 5TH POST!!!Sheila-tanx fer evrytink... im nt blaming any1 fer my mistake... nt even u... but nw u c wat ur gg thru nw... u oso cnt go out... but i helped u... atleast a bit... n i gez wat mum says is true... nvr trust ani1 even ur sibling... so there is no secret btw us animore as u will lead ur own lyfe n i lead mine... we r still related only as a sibling... im sorie... but dats the way it has 2 be nw...
i blogged @
16:13
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
FCUK!!!Was in a gewd mood... n suddenly it was gone... was damn mad... out of a blue... sum1 kol me a liar n hyprocrite... dunt u noe u hav been hurtin me wit those harsh werds ol dis while but i kept quite... u olwaes use ur werds bluntly... nvr tink of other peeps feelin... the bad werds u gave me was so harsh dat i ws so down yest... n gt myself high... cos it hurts me damn lots... i respect u too much... cos i luv u... but afta wat happen yest it realli hurts me... u want dis bitch back??? im nt shure... cos if dis is the way u show ur care n concerns by using harsh werds towards me den im sorie... i wuld rather nt change... let evry1 tink im a bad person... i dunt care anymore... u may tink im selfish... but changing back to my own self wit tings lyke dis im nt shure... wateva u wanna say... n if im a big liar n hyprocrite if dats wat u tink... den let me deal wit it in my own grave... take care...ANOTHER PERSON???i tot there was jus the 3 of us... nvr wuld i tot there is another person in ur lyfe bside me n I... now there is F... haiz... but y do i lyke n luv u so much... y cn i xcept the fact dat im nt the only gerl in ur lyfe... am i too softhearted... i dunt mind bein the 1st, 2nd, 3rd or 4th person... whrelse i cn get sum1 who luvs n cn giv me a 100% in r'ship... but y u??? is dat wat dey called luv??? am i foolish to do dat... been talking on the fone wit u... when i gt to noe bout another person in ur lyfe wich is F... i gt myself high agen... but i dunt mind... reali... atleast u were there to b by my side...n luckily gf ijah n gf lin was there yest... dey took care of me... bf diq,bf naz n bf as was there too... hart u guys lots too... n tanx fer evrytink...
i blogged @
18:53
HAPPIE 20TH BUFDAE!!!