Sunday, September 27, 2009
im bck...
hari raya was basically normal...
no moods for raya that much...
ayah was warded a day b4 raya...
pagi raya 1st ting gi hosp...
lame...
furthermore...
abg zaff n ajib tkder...
its kinda bored... but still we cam-whoring...
as usual...
jln raya pn 1st dae jek...
2nd dae till nw...
dok uma...
tapi thurs i went fishing wit huda n is...
bf culdnt cum along as he's in camp...
caught no fish...
the next dae after went fishing...
i was sicked...
i felt diff...
lyke sumting is disturbing me...
i had difficulty of sleeping...
for a few daes olready...
again...
fahil ashraff(226309)
those past kip haunting me...
when i close my eyes before i sleep...
or even wen im alone doing nothing...
there will be a scenario...
playing in my mind...
its just lyke an enactment of wat happen btw u both...
n i dislyke those feeling...
hw cn i stop it frm happening...
i hate this part right now...
really...
its killing me...
i gez till here i will blog...
will update more next tyme...
i gt no mood... :(
i blogged @
22:37
Thursday, September 17, 2009
160909...
gosh had a great tyme wit my family...
no mood to blog much...
so jus view the pics below...
i blogged @
00:34
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
150909 PICS...
woke up ard 11am...
get ready to mit him...
he came to my plc but did nt enter my hm...
i dnt tink he wuld dare...
as he noes mak wuldnt want to mit him for nw...
he gave me the kueh n krepek...
that laly n his mum gave me...
otw to the lift...
he went missing suddenly...
was looking for him suddenly he appeared...
he the walked towards me n gave me a bouquet of flowers...
i was shocked n speechless...
i dnt want to go ard wit the bouquet...
so i went up to my crib to put the bouquet at my crib...
he was so swit...
but i dnt noe is it jus for nw...
then we took a cab to BAZAAR GEYLANG...
to get his baju kurong n samping...
n gez wat...
IS n HUDA van was jus next to our cab...
so i tell him to giv dem a call...
but instead of calling...
he wind dwn the window n shouted at HUDA...
she was actually shocked...
who wuldnt...
ermmm...
den we met dem at BAZAAR GEYLANG...
den fahil suggested to invite HUDA n IS to join us...
for supper at EAST COAST LAGOON...
we had...
IKAN BAKAR, BUTTER & GARLIC PRAWN,
KANGKONG, GON-GON & SATAY...
we were so fulled...
didnt manage to take those pics...
we were sitting there for a few hrs...
laughing n giggling...
we dnt noe where to go...
so we plan to go...
KARAOKE @ GRANDLINK...
the pics is wit fahil...
will update it soon...
afta dat we dcided to go hm as its nearly 0300hrs...
we also met our sec classmate...
AZHAR...
been long since we met...
fahil tried driving the van...
n im proud of his driving skill...
wateva... hehehe...
reached hm ard 0345hrs...
n i went str8 to lalaland...
woke up at 0625hrs...
to send nadd...
tired n slippy sehh...
i blogged @
23:46
those pics were taken on 110909
was fun on that dae...
eventhou my kueh terbantot...
i blogged @
23:35
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
WIDE AWAKE!!!
is waken up by nadd to send her to the bus transport pick up point...
so groggy...
yest lappy being a biatch...
n in the evening chat at alamak.com...
afta more den 7yrs nt chatting...
i feel weird...
i chat out of fun...
n to kill tymes...
nt to flirt ard...
n i did nt xchange any num...
eventho i was given their num...
but i did nt save it...
i dnt noe y...
bear it in mind...
but i feel im moving on wit lyfe...
today im gonna mit u as u insist...
afta a 8days of nt miting up...
i dnt noe wats gonna happen today...
is it gonna be gewd or badd 1...
we shall c...
if u noe hw to please me n treat me gewd todae...
den i will dcide agen...
even if we cnt be like we used be atleast be fren...
aniwae...
there will be a mit up btw his cuzzin,her bf n her aunt 1 of these dae...
i dnt noe wen...
it bettta be gewd...
cos if my name is gonna be bad bcos of him...
n he makes story dat i did nt do...
i make sure i fcukked him upside dwn...
even if to the extend of being rude to his cuzzin bf infront of his aunt...
who cares...
tired of being the gewd izan...
i blogged @
07:09
Monday, September 14, 2009
OWH GAWD!!!
tings isnt the way i want it...
but who give a damn...
she's not related to me...
she's jus sum1 who cnt act maturely...
n dnt dare to confront...
or atleast ask if wat u hear is true or nt...
tkpe simpan jek...
pastu mkn hati sendiri...
dah tk bleh tahan bunoh jek diri...
abis crite...
i jus dnt understand gerls n woman nowadays...
y do they lyke to kip quiet when guys bully or hurt dem...
lyke to destroy others hapiness or take sum1 else property...
n lyke to act childish...
i jus dnt understand y...
but im nt gonna get myself involve wit ol this shit...
or others affair...
aniwae...
i helped mummy to bake some cookies n kueh tart...
kinda interesting...
i wuld lurv to make my own cookies...
gonna make brownies 1 of this dae...
or perhaps today???
as i gt nothing else to do after wash clothes n curtains...
ermmm...
Labels: ...i dnt nid ur sympathy...
i blogged @
18:15
HADD ENUFF!!!
to sumone who is ARROGANT!!!
u demand respect...
but wat abt mine???
had i ever be rude to u or enter ur lurv affair lyfe???
i was ur listening ears...
n i advise where necessary???
u want respect???
gain frm it 1st...
sumtymes i wonder if ur a hyprocrite or wat...
u held a gewd position...
but wit ur ego n attitude...
i dnt tink u cn ever hve respect...
frm nw on...
im gonna be the evil izan agen...
which it has been living beneathe her...
for the last 15mths...
IM BACK!!!
THE EVIL ME!!!
THE DIRTY OLD STUFF!!!
take care...
cos nw the butterflychick is wit poisons...
ps: fahil, u dnt even noe hw to gain bck my lurv n trust... too bad...
i blogged @
02:49
Saturday, September 12, 2009
GET OVER IT!!!
woke up ard noon... had a late nyte...
so bgn pn lmbt...
plan to make layang2 n cornflakes...
so went dwn to buy stuff dat was needed...
start off wit layang...
i make it...
it turn out the way i want it...
den relak japp...
den con't wit cornflakes...
upset n disappointed...
it didnt turn up the way it shuld be...
tried to do all over agen...
for the 2nd tyme...
pn tk jadi... sedih sakk...
but nvm...
dnt give up butterfly chick...
i noe i cn do it...
bsk gonna do layang2 agen...
any1 wants to order layang2?
$10 per bottle...
nw on promotion...
family n closest frens
$8 per bottle...
we hve with sugar or milo...
interested any1???
while stock last...
cehh!!!
aku promote brg sehh...
fahil, nw im the lady boss huh...
bluekzzz...
nw bck to my story...
gettin over it slowly...
i cnt deny that i forget abt it...
cos i dnt...
gez i nid a brainwash...
any1 cn help?
hehehe...
i miss those clubbin songs...
memories sak...
huda n is ajak pi geylang...
tapi was bz wit makin those layang2 n cornflake yg tk menjadi tu...
tapi tkpe...
conference wit mira n ilah earlier in msn...
kekek giler arh drg...
mengutok n mencaci org jek kiter tau...
hahaha...
1 phrase that i say...
nw nk jadi fighter...
tk nk jadi lover agik...
hahaha...
fighter utk idup...
blehh gitu...
klarh gtg... slipy n yet dnt wanna slip yet...
boring!!!
Labels: get over it pls??? brainwash???
i blogged @
01:22
Friday, September 11, 2009
new blogskin again...
yeah!!!
tanx ilah...
agen...
im sorie to those peeps i once hurt...
hurting is such a pain...
KAK DEDE...
im sorie i nvr meant to sour ur rship...
but that was the truth...
i nvr want it to be this way...
i was just trying to get the fact...
n he gave me...
n i thought it was true...
so i confronted him n her...
i tink all woman wuld do wat i did too...
jus to get the truth...
maybe sum wuld kip quiet...
but im nt as i will get depressed, stress n heartache...
i noe alot of peeps wuld get hurt with my dcison of confronting...
but wat am i supposed to do???
kip quiet n numb...
jus to make others hapie...
i really do feel bad...
QUITED MY JOB AT ALLSON...
now i noe y we dnt want laly to noe dat i werk @ ALLSON
a few peeps wuld bring up the history...
n i will find out evryting...
advantage n disadvantage...
advantage: i found out the truth...
if nt i will be kept in the dark...
disadvantage: peeps hurt... n i will too...
alot of sour frenship & rship...
so mak dcided i quit the job too...
wich i oso thought of too...
jus to get rid of those youngsters there...
frm hurting me further wit the history...
n my rship n kak dede be sour(i gez it already is)...
but i dnt wanna see mak hurt too...
so i decided to agree wit wat mak wants...
FAHIL ASHRAFF...
i've forgiven u...
yes i did...
but its nt that fast to be bck with u...
i need tyme...
to heal those heartroken i had...
the truth do hurts...
i really hope u keep the promises u make to me n laly...
alot of peeps are putting high hopes on us...
but for the tyme being i want it this way...
i want us to be frens...
i noe u want it fasts...
to be loved,care n concerns frm me lyke u used to hve frm me...
but i do hope u will repent...
as i've given u lots of chances...
abt mak...
i noe u cn do it...
make dnt keep grudges or hatred too long...
i know her too well...
&
i bkn tk nk teman u on next tues...
but i noe...
i will hve to see kak dede at her plc...
i tk ksah...
but will her???
thats wat keeps me fickle minded...
i noe laly is okie wit me...
but will kak dede xcept me like she used to be???
the bonding that i n kak dede had...
will it still be the same???
lyke those tyme wen we were close...
MYSELF...
will the lurv that im looking for be wit the person that i once lurv still???
if after forgiving him...
will he do dat to me agen...
will he hurt me...
will i be cheated agen...
will u give me hapiness...
n not sadness...
ps: IM JUST SORRY
Labels: ~heartbroken n im sorie~
i blogged @
01:30
Thursday, September 10, 2009
i tink this is the only plc nw that i cn share my probs wit
& hw i feel... i miss min alot nw...
min, i nid ur listening ears...
but for nw i nid our bestie hugs badly...
this is the biggest problems i ever had this yr...
ppl is blaming me 4 sumting that i've nt done...
wen its my right to find out the truth... n it really hurts me...
nt only i lose my happiness wich i used to had wit boi...
but i've severe ties wit his cuzzin wich i had...
n its only btw duty manager n front desk jek...
ppl said i tink abt myself n im being selfish...
but wat happen concerns my hapiness, lyfe n future...
but wat abt my feelings n mak???
she was so disappointed wit boi for lying to me...
i noe u wuld hate boi for wat he's done...
am i at fault?
its been more than 24hrs that i've nt eaten... just drank water jek...
i feel so weak...
do i deserve to be like this...?
wat mistake that i've done till i've to be treated dis way...
i've gt to discipline myself...
to luk forward for my future...
but it hurts me alot...
i feel lyke killing myself...
but wat wuld happen to my mum especially...
to others this is nothing cos perhaps they dnt noe wat i feel...
i maybe tempermental n ego...
but i do hve feelings...
just lyke others or human being...
im nt perfect but it doesnt mean i cn be treated this way by u ppl...
i hve been crying alot... as thats the only way i cn do... i gt no1 else to share...
i gt nt much frens nw...
i cnt kip gg to my mum cos i dnt want her to worie abt me...
she dpend alot on me... i agree on that...
i feel so much pressure n i do feel depress abt wat happen to my lyfe recently...
its jus nt easy for me...
ya allah,
tlg larh lindungi hamba mu yg lemah ini...
aku tk kuat tapi...
aku redha...
walaupn aku lemah utk harunginya...
PS: do i hve to kip evryting to myself???
just to make others hapie???
Labels: ~pressurize n depression~
i blogged @
04:11
Wednesday, September 09, 2009
hey guys!!!
sorie... hve been bz wit werks n had no tyme to update my blog...
WERK
werk wise was okie... alot of tings i've to absorb... i want to prove to peeps
that i cn do it... on my own... food there is lyke hospital food...
as they want us to hve a healthy diet...
sumtymes i hve to break fast with jus rice n vegetables...
atleast the abg2 n kakak2 there bring food n share it wit me... so swit ryte...
FAMILY
quarell wit ayah the other dae bcos of my sis... until he had heartpain n admitted himself
to the hosp at wee hrs... i do feel bad... i jus want to reason out tings n advice
abt him sitting at the coffeeshop wit his frens... i dnt lyke it...
eventhou he's a guy but doesnt mean he cn do anyting... but he has been dischrge frm hosp tadi
as doc tinks dat he shuldnt waste his $$$ on hosp as he insists of nt doing
the "ballooning" which he's at risk nw...
i jus put away my ego n said sorie to him... i even cried saying sorie to him...
i dnt noe y i've been emotional lately... is it bcos of im getting older each day? culd it be dat?
atleast i feel betta now afta saying sorie as i hardly sae sorie to him...
hopefully, my family is strong enuf to go thru ups n down...
FAHIL ASHRAFF
i dnt noe hw u hve the cheek to cheat, lie n hurt me...
u thought i've been cheating on u...
i did nt... but u did... i've tried hard enuff to salvage the rship...
i dnt noe wat i did wrg to u or my previous lyfe...
but i've been truthful n faithful to u...
the hardest ting that i've to xcept is...
" u kiss RINA!!!"
or
"RINA kiss u!!!"
either or...
u guys still kiss each other...
my property has been breached by RINA...
n tanx to her n fahil my rship of 15mths jus ended...
n nw i found out sumting agen...
this is more worst...
SLEPT???
deny agen n agen as usual...
fcuk off frm my lyfe nw...
i hate u to the core big tyme...
semuer org tk pnah tanyer2 ko... knape ko uat gini kat aku...
even if ppl wanna blame me...
GO AHEAD!!!
seems lyke ppl is siding u...
any1 care to asked me hw i felt???
r u okie nt???
did any1 asked???
im so disappointed wit u ol...
Labels: heartbroken
i blogged @
21:30
Monday, September 07, 2009
ellooo peeps... miss me??? too tired to update... will update soon ayte... taking care peeps...
ps: bf, i lurv u sooo much...
i blogged @
02:12
